Getting to Know 19147

Named after a Lenape village, Passyunk Ave. shares literally nothing else with the tribe.

World, recently I relocated to South Philly from Fairmount. Aside from missing tree-lined sidewalks and Rybread, I’m happy to live in this quirkier, more diverse and storied chunk of the city. Still getting to know my neighbors, I enjoyed balmy October weather with a stroll today down Passyunk Avenue, noting the following places of interest. A year from now, I hope to have my go-to spots on this hip, happening promenade.

Note: No cheese steak establishment will be on this, or any list, I ever write. I firmly stand in the camp that believes this culinary craze is overrated and underwhelming. Will I eat one? Sure. But it’s just like, not that big of a deal people. Not a big deal.

Urban Jungle – Pricy, but full of goodies for the seasoned and novice gardener. Who bought a half-off fennel candle? This girl.

Nice Things – Handmade accessories by Philly designers — need I say more?

Philadelphia Scooters – A committed pedestrian, the cooler more adventurous part of me dreams of one day owning a scooter for some light zooming with attitude.

Ray’s Happy Birthday – Best bar name, hands down. Makes this list on titular merit alone.

Fond – I have yet to patronize this fancy French establishment, but once more coins are in the coffer, you better believe I’ll be elevating my palate with escargot and the like. (BYOB, FYI)

Farmers’ Markets and Block Events & Fall Festival– I still feel like a foreigner amidst the hipster-infused, nonchalant atmosphere on Passyunk, and I’ll probably never really fit in considering my penchant for L.L. Bean. But! I can still run shoulders with my fellow South Philadelphians because gosh darnit, I live here. See you at the beer crawl, and I WILL be wearing a sweater from Macy’s petites, so don’t get judgy.

Nonplussed

Image

World, life is just a series of pluses and minuses, don’t you think? We try to stay in the black, not the red. We (well, Americans and Czechs at least) try to lose weight, not gain. We try to make friends, not enemies. Taking stock of successes and failures, great or small, keeps me on the right track between realistic and delusional. In hopes of inspiring my millions of readers to reward the good and learn from the bad, here is my weekly tally:

WINS

  • Productivity at work! From scheduling CEO interviews, to sending thank yous to those who helped plan our first national conference, to compiling tons of notes, to getting staff organized for our upcoming board meeting, I got stuff D – U – N done.
  • I connected with my friend Lauren! A busy dramaturgy grad student at Yale, Lauren is a great college friend who I don’t talk with much because our schedules rarely overlap. Chatting with Lauren always motivates me to refocus on taking my theatre company to the next level, whether through smart collaborations or business development.
  • I bought a corkscrew! Let the red wine flow freely.
  • I made my annual dentist appointment. I know ideally you’re supposed to go twice a year, but I hate the dentist so damn much that once is all I can muster.
  • I went bike riding for the first time in over five years! While I don’t feel comfortable riding in the city, Bob and I went biking on the Ocean City boardwalk and no one fell over! I’m excited for many non-urban bike rides to come.

WOES

  • I’ve been trying to work out five times a week since I’m headed to the beach in less than two months. I missed my mark by a couple days; girl GET it next week! For a 20-minute work out that will leave you panting, youtube ‘Denise Austin’ and voila! Denise is frighteningly energetic, and her choreographed aerobics are easy enough to follow even for an albatross like myself.
  • I didn’t floss. At all.
  • I went on an unexpected shopping spree. Though I did need a blazer for work, I did not need the four blouses. And the handbag. Freeze the account! Ramen and beans.
  • I didn’t play any piano. I’m lucky enough to have a lovely in-tune upright in my apartment, and I should take advantage of it daily! Here’s to tickling the keys more this week.
  • I haven’t read anything intelligent all week. A book, an article, etc. This is bad.

What are your wins and woes of the week? We’re all in this up down arithmetic together!

(noun) a blue, black, and white bird with pointed feathers on its head

World, for my junior year high school prom, the wackadoos called my classmates chose “Shiny Things” as our theme. This meant that the student rec room known as The Commons was outfitted in sequins, foil, metal and mirrors – anything dubbed “shiny” in fact. I remember recalling from the little I know about ornithology the … Continue reading

…Philly Female Favorites, #s 6 through 10!

6. Martha Graham Cracker is the city’s queen of drag. The man behind the mascara is Dito Van Reigersberg, one of local legend Pig Iron Theatre Company’s co-founders. This man can sing. This man can dance. This man simply sparkles on stage with his effortless wit, grace and coy antics. Martha performs all around Philly, … Continue reading

Girls of the world, you should really visit Philadelphia.

I’ve called Philly home for the last three years, and I’d like to think that by now I know at least parts of this great city quite well. As a self-proclaimed epicurian, I champion indulgence and aim to suss out all of the good looking, tasting, sounding and feeling things that Philadelphia has to offer … Continue reading

My Costume: An Illustrative Evolution

World, this year I’m attending a Halloween Masquerade Party Fundraiser with my boyfriend and I’m beside myself with excitement. I am all for two-person costumes, as long as the concept is fortified by duplicity, not simply a his/hers trashfest. Below is an illustrative evolution of costume ideas, culminating in our final selection, chosen for its … Continue reading

World, why are there bed bugs?

Leggy and regal, the spider reigns supreme as Halloween garnish.

Disclaimer: I do not have bed bugs…but I know people who do!

Though leery of spiders, my concern is one forged of admiration. Eating mosquitoes, spinning real stunners, inspiring decor for Halloween cupcake toppers — spiders serve you well, World.

Bed bugs are bums. Unless an entomologist can enlighten this issue, bed bugs provide no benefit to you, World. I HOPE they are a diet staple for cuddly creatures somewhere, or that they productively graze upon the dust mite population, but my fear is that bed bugs are simply the worst, much like Uggs and car freshener.

Allow me to make my point in the most articulate way possible. Picture a plastic bed bug ring atop your Halloween cupcake. Just writing this makes me want to vomit. World, there is no way around this one. You screwed up with bed bugs, and everyone is either miserable because of them or terrified by the prospect.

If a bed bug undetectably boards the rocket ship we all take to Mars, there is probably no point in recolonizing.

World, I’ve begun a blog.

photo by Pete English "How to Solve a Bear", The Groundswell Players

“How to Solve a Bear”, The Groundswell Players, photo by Pete English